Today I am so emotional, and I would love to blame it on hormones but who knows. I have been down on myself all day and really doubting my choices and my capabilities. A few weeks ago I felt so strong, so able to do what was asked of me. Its amazing how a few simple things can derail my self confidence. A few weeks ago I was also content in who I was, in my opinions, and my abilities. Again, today, not so sure. Why do I let others wear me down? Why do I let extemporaneous things effect how I feel about myself? Why do I let others make me feel like I should apologize for being me?
I wish so badly that I could always be strong, confident, and capable. I wish I could say "Stick It!" to those who try to bring me down, or who don't support me, or who criticize me behind my back. I am grateful for my friends and family who are honest with me and help support me. Its so hard to be criticized when all I'm trying to do is my best. I know you probably want to know what triggered all this, and its a bunch of inconsequential little things that just built up to today. I think the final one was someone at work today telling me that I was "too loud for this early in the morning", and I didn't even think I was speaking loudly. When he criticized me for something about myself that I can't change, it really bugged me. And that just opened the flood gates.
So, tonight, I'm a little down. I can't wait for my husband to come home so he can give me a hug and listen to me ramble on and on. And I have a fun evening of games and treats with my kids to help perk me up. But some days, like today, are not so great. I hope tomorrow is better.
5 comments:
One time another adult told me that I was too loud and should use my quiet voice. I looked at her and said, "THIS IS MY QUIET VOICE"! That shut her up. Hang in there Grace. You are awesome, perhaps other people just don't know that yet. ;-)
Ha ha! RLFullmer's comment is great. I can't believe adults are so rude as to call another adult on the volume of their voice. Oh, wait, I guess I've seen enough reality TV to know better. Maybe he was suffering from a hangover. But he still shouldn't take it out on you. I hope you are feeling much better after a hopefully fun night of FHE. If it helps, try to think of your huge fan club (how many places have you lived? Multiply that by 100 and you'll have the minimum number of members. It's surely way higher.) We love you, and we think you rock!
Ya, he's probably a coffee addict and hadn't got enough caffeine in him yet. Still, though, he's a jerk. Next time say, "Your face is too ugly for any time of day." Unless he's your boss. In which case, sorry you're just gonna have to suck it up =). Oh! Or you could get a really sad look on your face, point to your hearing aide, and make him feel bad for your "disabilities." Hehe, that'll stick it to him. But then he'll probably start talking really loudly around you, which would be annoying. Oh but maybe then you can eavesdrop on your coworkers easily because they'll think you can't hear them! See, you gotta just look on the sneaky/sunny side of things!
Hang in there, Grace.
Your great!
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