BLOGS

THE LATEST ADVENTURE IS....

Friday, June 26, 2009

Bragging Time

Bragging time for mommy - why? Because I can!!
So with the end of school comes the much anticipated report cards and state testing results. Both Zach and Tyson took the state tests in math and English this year.
Zach scored a perfect 770 out of 770 on his math test, and scored average on his English.
Tyson scored a perfect 795 out of 795 in English, and 734 out of 780 for Math.
Everyone's report cards were equally fantastic. Emma received the Principles Academic Achievement Award for excellence in all academic areas - lots of 4's (above grade level performance) and O's (Outstanding).
Zach got an A in Math and Social Studies, and a B in Science (he hates Science - he gets that from me :-) )
Tyson got straight A's again; the kid is super smart. So he got Honor Roll for the year, and earned Achievement Awards in all subject areas.
My Dad use to say that he didn't have stupid kids. It use to bug me because I felt pressure from his expectations of good grades. But now I know why he said it!! We were smart kids, and now I can say the same thing, except I'll spin it the other way.
I have smart kids!!!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

What do I do now?

Today is the first official day of Summer vacation.
What do I do now?
Next week is Ron's week off so we have fun things planned, but after that - BUBKISS!!
And I freely admit that I am one of those awful parents who hates having her kids home all day.
I GO CRAZZZZZYYYYYYY!!!
So could I get some good ideas of how to keep all of us sane this summer please?
The biggest problem is that with the age differences I can't please everyone with one activity. If the big kids are happy then Tess is usually in a stroller throwing a fit or I am miserable keeping her out of things. If its something for Tess than the big kids are bored and whining. And I can't afford to have them all in a million sports or day camps (not that they have those here anyway). Oh, and keep in mind that I have a terrible two year old who still takes naps in the afternoon. To top it all off all my babysitters are moving in the next two weeks. Yippie for me!!
If you value my sanity at all - you'll help me!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The incredible vanishing...

FISH!! Okay, we have a mystery at the Crowther house. Emma's fish has gone missing. A missing fish you say, yes a missing fish. How can a fish go missing? I have no idea!! A few days before I went to Ohio I cleaned out the fish bowl and changed the water. I know for sure that Rose (Emma's fish) was safely placed in the clean bowl. The day I left for Ohio I went to feed her a little extra food, hoping it would hold her for two days until I got back, and she was gone. Yes gone!! The fish bowl was on top of the dresser, so Tess and the dog couldn't reach it (yes I did consider my dog the culprit, but she's clean). There was no mess or spilled water to suggest that someone reached in and grabbed her. And no,my kids aren't clever enough to clean up their mess to cover their tracks - their messes give them away every time. At first I thought I was seeing things so I had Ron come and check, sure enough, no fish. We questioned the kids and they all seemed genuinely honest in their denials of any wrong doing. Finally I thought we had an acrobatic fish that jumped out of her bowl. So I checked on the carpet, behind and under the dresser - no luck. Where did she go? We have absolutely no idea. We are buying a replacement fish today. Poor Rose.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Ziploc I love you

We are on the road again, this time we are headed to Virginia for my nephews baptism and my brother Andy's graduation from Residency. I have learned to be prepared on car trips, maybe even overly prepared. Ron is great about not complaining about all the extra nicknacks he has to load into the car. Well today all my preparedness paid off. Somewhere around central Pennsylvania Emma declared from the back seat that she is going to throw up and needs a bowl. Of course we don't have a bowl but we have the next best thing - a gallon sized ziploc bag. So Ron handed her one, a few seconds later she threw up, we sealed the bag and threw it away. I have to say that ziploc bags are one of the best inventions ever - a moms best friend. And what is up with Emma and throwing up in Central Pennsylvania? She is fine now and we are almost there, yippie!! And I am blogging from Rons blackberry, so cool!!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Weekend with Ella

Okay, so this weekend was so much fun. Ron and I had the very rare opportunity to have a weekend away with no kids to fly to Ohio and attend the blessing of my precious niece Ella. I didn't take my camera so I stole these pictures from Ellas blog, so you could see how adorable she is!!!



This is my fabulous big brother Macc with his beautiful little princess Ella. They attended a Dodger baseball game and got all dolled up for the affair. She is so gorgeous in her dodger blue, and it makes her eyes just pop!!


My sister-in-law Lisa. We kept calling Ella, mini Lisa. The only thing we could find on Ella that came from Macc are her toes, but hey thats something. Ella is the smiliest little girl ever, and when she smiles her whole face smiles. It was so much fun to spend time with her and focus only on her. She was completely spoiled by both grandparents, one set of great grandparents, and one fabulous auntie and uncle.

Ron and I had a taste of life without the kids and I have to say that we LOVED it!! We are planning another weekend away for as soon as possible. And we get to see Ella again in 5 short days. The family is getting together again this weekend in Virginia for my nephew Nathan's baptism. More fun with family - bring it on!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Emotional Rollercoaster of a Month

This month has been the worst month EVER in terms of emotional roller coasters. In fact, many days I just cried and cried. I have experienced confusion, unbelief, fear, anxiety, anger, rage, sadness, despair, frustration, guilt, physical pain, relief, peace and I'm sure many many more that I can't describe. I'll tell you the whole story, mostly because I need to journal about this, but I beg for your understanding and patience as I tell the story.

The week before Mothers Day I found out that I was pregnant. This was a HUGE and unplanned surprise. This triggered most of the above mentioned emotions. Ron and I have felt for a long time that our family was complete. I have even been getting rid of all our baby items as soon as Tess grew out of them. The only things we have left are the crib and changing table. We were downsizing. To say the least, I was devastated by the news. Let me explain why before you get angry with me.

1. I was due the end of January, and Ron redeploys around Christmas. I would be all alone AGAIN for the delivery and after.

2. I had no idea how we would fit another person in our small house. Every inch is full. The only spot for a crib would be in my closet, where my craft table is set up. I would loose my only private spot in the whole house.

3. This next deployment was already going to be hard. My closest friend and ALL my babysitters are moving this summer. I am very concerned about my mental state remaining in tact if I won't have occasional breaks from my kids.

4. Selfishly I am already counting down to when Tess will start preschool. I am anxious to have more personal time to develop my talents and learn new things. Another child would put all that back another 3 years.

I realize that some of my reasons are selfish, I know that. But when your mind has been set on a course for so long, and then it is radically changed its hard to take. Literally every day since I found out I was pregnant I have thought "I can't do this. This is too much for me to handle and do on my own." I made Ron start looking into getting out of the Army, I was that serious. I knew if I was going to get through this I would need Ron by my side, and being in the Army wouldn't allow that. Ron was more than a little concerned about me, and was willing to consider getting out even though he loves what he does. Most of my prayers were said through tears and I will admit that they were mostly whining and complaining prayers - asking, no begging for a miracle. I even prayed for the unthinkable, I prayed for a miscarriage. I know I'm awful. Especially since I have so many family members and friends that are desperately praying for children. I know that. But please understand that right now, in my circumstances, I can't handle another child.

I was starting to have moments when I was happy about it. I love being pregnant, I have very easy pregnancies. I love babies. I was sure that the baby was a boy. The baby blanket I made (and posted pictures of) was for the baby. I bought enough material to make the whole crib set. That was my small attempt at acceptance. I even started making a name list. My favorite was Brody, Ron's was Gabriel. I finally told close friends and immediate family. I stopped crying every day.

Last Wednesday I started cramping and spotting. I wasn't too concerned because I had similar problems with Emma and everything was fine. By Friday it hadn't stopped so OB told me to go to the ER. Blood work and an ultrasound later: no heart beat or fetal movement, and my hormone levels were way too low. They told me I was miscarrying, and sent me home with pain meds and said to let nature take its course.

Now a new wave of emotions came. More guilt, pain, sadness, but also relief and peace. I kept asking the questions," did I make this happen?" "is this my fault?" Of course, Ron told me it wasn't, but its hard to accept. I felt guilty for wanting to miscarry and guilty that it happened. I felt sad for the loss, and wondered what the baby would have looked like. I was grateful that this happened, but also devastated. Typical female emotions. I woke up Saturday morning and for the first time in a month I wasn't depressed, frustrated or worried. I could really breathe. I felt like things were right again, the way they should be.

I'm still in physical pain, vicadin is my new friend. I saw the Dr. today and I am recovering well; nature is running its course. I feel hopeful again, happy even. I look at my 4 beautiful kids and I'm grateful I have them. They are all so unique and special and I can't imagine my life without them. I still have no idea why this happened. I don't know what I'm suppose to learn from this. My head is still a huge jumble of emotions, slowly sorting out. But I do know this. I am incredibly grateful to my dear family and friends who have loved and comforted me through this. A huge thank you to my sisters; Jenna for being the only one who could understand EXACTLY how I was feeling, Jacque for letting me complain and be grumpy but giving me a deadline, and Adriann for being willing to hop on a plane to be with me. I love you all.

Odd tidbits I discovered today.
*Reduced fat Club crackers taste better than original
*Having your heat on in June is seriously disturbing
*An OB office is a very depressing place to be if your not pregnant
* I am a perfect statistic, 1 out of 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Jazz Recital

Emma had her end of the year Jazz recital last week. She was very ready to have Jazz over with and so was I. Just one less thing to drive all over town for. Although, now I don't get to see my friend Kim every week, so thats a bummer. Even though Emma was glad Jazz was over, she did really enjoy it and it suits her personality perfectly!! I have no idea what activity Emma will choose for next year. We have gone from ballet, to gymnastics, and now jazz. She can't seem to stick with just one. Maybe next year she'll go with soccer instead. So here are the pics I took of her before she got on stage. If you look closely you'll notice that her nose is all scraped up and she has a fat lip. She crashed and burned on her bike the day before. But luckily being on stage she was far away from everyone and makeup covered up most of her injuries.

I thought her costume was adorable, Ron thought it was too 70's - where have I heard that before? At least it covered her tummy.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Book Buddies


Tess has now upgraded to the big girl bed with Emma. She loves snuggling up nice and close to her big sister, and Emma is a good sport about it. They both love to read books at bed time and it was so cute to see them lying there together reading. They are both so big! And Emma has graduated to reading chapter books, and she is very proud of herself!!!