Most of you know that I struggle with depression. I have been on and off anti-depressants for years now. Every once in a while I get it in my head that I should be able to conquer my depression symptoms on my own, so I go off my meds, like now for example. That decision is somewhat questionable. Can I fight through it most days and keep functioning? - yes. Like today. I don't want to do anything, and I really mean everything. I have to physically make myself get up and move and do things - even simple things like getting dressed. Right now it is 10:40am and I am proud of myself because I got a shower, got dressed, just finished my hair (that's big because I could have just put it in a pony tail), got kids off to school, sewed 4 of my placemats (current project) and finished 2 loads of laundry (3 more to go). But I am forcing myself to do this because I know that when Tess gets on the bus at 11:30 that I am going to lay down and take a nap - hopefully until 3pm when my kids start getting home. You might be impressed but don't be, because there are big things that I didn't do today - like going on my run for example, and eating healthy (just ate a ding dong and there is half a blizzard in the freezer with my name on it).
So you can see that I struggle. I know logically that this time of the month is harder on my emotions, and I try to not let that get me more down, but it's hard. It's hard to move, when all you want to do is lie down on your bed and stare out your window. But I have to get through today, and the next day, and the next. I keep trying to fight through it.
1 comment:
Did u go off your meds gradually or cold turkey? I also take anti-depressants, and have anti-anxiety meds on hand if necessary so don't feel bad. I think its hard not to be depressed in this day and age. My biggest help is having a good support group, which it doesn't sound like u have in Kentucky. I am impressed that you survive every day with a militiary hubby. I would be in a mental hospital permanently! Some days I don't look at things in one big chunk, but rather 10 mins at a time. If I get through those 10 mins, then I can get through the next etc. Don't get down on yourself for napping, we all need it. You are awesome Grace~! Its everybody else that sucks :-)
Post a Comment