Trying to fight through it

Most of you know that I struggle with depression.  I have been on and off anti-depressants for years now.  Every once in a while I get it in my head that I should be able to conquer my depression symptoms on my own, so I go off my meds, like now for example.  That decision is somewhat questionable.  Can I fight through it most days and keep functioning? - yes.  Like today.  I don't want to do anything, and I really mean everything.  I have to physically make myself get up and move and do things - even simple things like getting dressed.  Right now it is 10:40am and I am proud of myself because I got a shower, got dressed, just finished my hair (that's big because I could have just put it in a pony tail), got kids off to school, sewed 4 of my placemats (current project) and finished 2 loads of laundry (3 more to go).  But I am forcing myself to do this because I know that when Tess gets on the bus at 11:30 that I am going to lay down and take a nap - hopefully until 3pm when my kids start getting home.  You might be impressed but don't be, because there are big things that I didn't do today - like going on my run for example, and eating healthy (just ate a ding dong and there is half a blizzard in the freezer with my name on it).

So you can see that I struggle.  I know logically that this time of the month is harder on my emotions, and I try to not let that get me more down, but it's hard.  It's hard to move, when all you want to do is lie down on your bed and stare out your window.  But I have to get through today, and the next day, and the next.  I keep trying to fight through it.

First Day of School

First Day of School for us was actually 3 weeks ago.  The three oldest started on August 1st and Tess started this past Tuesday on August 16th.  Unfortunately for my kids but fortunately for me they had a very short summer, only 6 weeks long.  Thats just the way it is, sometimes you get the short end of the stick.  Maybe the next time we move they'll have a really long summer.  Anyway, to the pictures.

I try to not emabaress my teenager, so I took pictures from a distance with the zoom so he wouldn't be mortified.  Tyson is now a big 8th grader, HOLY COW!!

I had to take a picture of him getting on the bus because my kids have never riden a bus to school before.  So far they still like it.  I hope it lasts the whole year!!

Next up were Emma and Zach.  They were nice and let me get their picture up close!!  They aren't embarressed of their mom yet.  Zach is a big 6th grader and Emma is in 4th. 

The Fort Knox schools are organized rather oddly to me.  Pre-K thru 3rd grade is at the Elementary School.  4-6th grade is at the Intermediate School.  7 and 8th grade are at the Middle School and then 9-12 is at the High School.  So this year I have kids at 3 different schools.  Next year I'll have all 4 schools.  I am soooo glad they ride the bus.  Oh and the bus stop is just right next door, HOORAY!

Tess was very anxious for her first day of school.  She got bored very quickly when her siblings left her all alone all day.  The only kink was that Tess has afternoon preschool so all morning long it was "Is it time for school yet?"  It drove me crazy very quickly, but I tried to be patient because I knew she didn't understand.

Isn't she just so cute!!  I took some pictures of her at school with my iPhone that I put on facebook.  It was a little chaotic at the school that first morning.  Tess also rides the bus but on the first day I drove her.  Now she rides the bus to and from school with her sweet bus driver and monitor to sit with all the little ones and keep them safe (they have a seperate bus for just the preschoolers and the kindergardners).  They say that she sings the whole way to school and home.  Apparantly the current favorite is The Wheels On The Bus.  Appropriate I think, don't you?

Exploring Kentucky

Every place we move we try to explore our area and find all the cool places to go.  So I've been asking everyone I talk to where we should go and what we should do.  With the current heat wave we wanted to avoid most things outdoors, but the caves are nice and cool so we checked them out.

Who knew that Kentucky had so many awesome caves?  We went down to Mammoth Caves State Park when my mom came to visit.  They have lots of tours but they filled up, so we took the self guided short tour.  It was nice and cool and the kids thought it was really neat.  They were hoping to see some bats, but thankfully we didn't.

 Walking down to the cave entrance.  It was steaming hot out!!



 I kept trying to take pictures and the flash kept blinding everyone!  I thought it was kind of funny but it was driving everyone else crazy (hee hee hee!)

 With my mom with us we got to take a family photo.  Unfortunately I didn't realize how see through my blouse was!!

 Zach holding up the cave walls.  What a strong boy!

So Frustrated

Everything is so frustrating lately.  Nothing has been straight forward or easy.  Everything from setting up cable and internet, putting up a fence, registering my kids for sports and school, buying school supplies and school clothes, and even doing a "simple" craft.  I don't expect everything to be easy, but when everything gets complicated when it doesn't need to be, or when I'm not given all the information I need to complete my task, so it ends up taking a million extra steps - it gets really old really fast. 

I'm an Army wife.  I'm learning the Army system.  I expect needless, useless, endless paper work to be apart of the program.  But when I think I've done everything that I need to, jumped through all the military "hoops", and then you throw a stupid curve ball at me, I want to throw things at you!!!  So needless to say I am a little tired of everything going wrong.

Then today, I thought I would do a fun craft to use some of my creativity and finish decorating my girls room.  All I wanted to do was spray paint some letters and hang them up in my girls room.  But no, that would be too easy!!  I set up the spray paint outside on the driveway, one coat in, and the bugs started swarming.  Ughhhhhhhhhhhh!  I kept picking off bugs and got the main coat on.  After it was dry enough I brought them inside to my basement, picked of the last of the bug guts and put another coat on to try and cover up the mess.  So frustrating, that I couldn't even do something simple like spray paint letters without something going wrong.  Eventually it turned out cute, but it took alot longer than it needed too.

I need something to go right for a change.  Please!!!