Help!! I need advice on something. Okay, so Ron takes command of the 1st Brigade Headquarters Company on Monday. I have never been active in any unit functions because, hello - I have 4 young kids and I'm a little busy with them, and my church assignments. With this new assignment of Ron's it is kind of expected that the wife will be involved. In fact I am suppose to take charge of the FRG group (for non military it is the organization for all the family members of the soldiers in the company - its like Relief Society on steroids). I just think of taking charge of that and I get an anxiety attack. The biggest reason why I feel like I should step up and be involved is that Ron is now working with the Brigade Commander (a Lt. Colonel), and all the Brigade staff which is made up of more Lt. Col's and lots of Majors and Cpts. He is making lots of wonderful contacts and this could really help his career. It looks alot better for him if his wife is involved. But I don't want to be the FRG Leader, so I told him no. So I am wondering if I can be half involved? Is that possible? Can I go to events and coffees and award ceremonies, but not be in charge of anything? Does it look bad if I only attend things and I'm not in charge of anything? Would it be better if I just didn't do anything? I'm very torn about the whole thing. I have always had a desire to be involved in the military functions, but I always thought I would do that when all the kids were in school and I had a little more free time. With Tess tagging along and still dealing with nap schedules I just don't think I have the energy or the time to do that! What do you think? I'll be looking for lots of opinions on this one!!
6 comments:
I have plenty to say about this topic! When Shane takes command I plan on being a FRG helper/adviser, NOT the leader. Shane and I both think if there is a soldiers wife who is already actively involved or would like to take charge let her! I do want to still be involved but just not 100% of it put on my shoulders. Support Ron in the best way that you can, and taking care of the kids at home without him having to worry is a HUGE support. Give yourself credit for that job Grace! Shane has always let me know when something was of real importance and that is when I make sure to help out or go to something. Hope that helps you feel better.
Dear Grace,
At one point in Mel's career, the commanders' wife took me aside and let me know I needed to take a more active part. Daniel was less than 2 years old, I had 3 other kids, and I didn't know how I'd ever do it. But, I did and NEVER regretted it! I wasn't OWC president, but I quickly learned how to look more involved that I really was. I made great friends, and had a lot of opportunities to stand up for what I believed. It is possible to be half involved - it's not like Church! Have some clear boundaries in your mind. It was enriching to ALL our lives, and I really appreciate the woman who let me know what I needed to do. Think of it as more money on an every day basis, as well as an investment in your retirement. Rank=$$$. BTW, Mel retired as a Lt. Col. :) Maybe Ron's career could land your family at BYU as the commander! HOOAH. Hope this helps your decision.
Laura Leseberg
~J directed me to your site, my husband is a Captain, and will be taking command later in the year. Sadly, I agree with Laura. (Sadly because I am TOTALLY with you on not wanting to do the FRG!) This is when you absolutely have to step up. There will be times when you don't have to do anything, but now is not it. The best thing you can do, though, is get your husband's NCO wives roped into it to. I have been saved many times by the NCO wives--they often have wanted to do more work and enjoyed it more!
Be sure to talk to the outgoing commander's wife, or last leader of the FRG: find out the traditions and what is expected. If you are lucky, you are in a simple, no-frills unit that won't tax you too much. Good luck!
It sounds like a lot of responsibility, but it reminded me of this months VT message. Its all about getting out there and getting involved! Service brings blessings, and energy breeds energy. Learn when to say no when it becomes too much, but you'll probably find yourself giving up things and not missing them at all. Do your best but don't try to be perfect and ask for help! That's my opinion.
Neil is currently 4/2 Brigade HHC Commander, me FRG leader until two nights ago. I have to be honest and say it was too much. To do a good job I was taking a lot of time from my three little ones. You can be a POC and when they need cookies for a meeting or something do that. Say you can't commit time but you can commit product. I don't think it makes you look bad it just shows your priorities. Good luck with finding a balance. Isn't that what life is all about ? :)
I think you should be part involved. You will have some fun opportunites, make nice friends, and you can take every opportunity to thank all the wives who do the FRG leader job. They need kudos and would appreciate your sincere gratitude for what they are doing.
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